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High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Funny
Highlights
Come
Intellectually
Children
Magazine
Mean
Magazines
Great
Humor
High
Notch
Read
Notches
Times
Baked

More quotes by David Cross

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I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
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You can't just yell jokes at people.
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There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
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The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
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I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
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Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
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Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
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I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
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I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
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I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, It's just shock value. It's not even funny. I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian.
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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
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