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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
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Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
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Flight
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Plums
More quotes by David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
David Cross
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
David Cross
My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
David Cross
I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all.
David Cross
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
David Cross
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
