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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Humor
Read
Funny
Find
Plums
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Magazine
Wanna
Magazines
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More quotes by David Cross
I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
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We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
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I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.
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My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
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I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, It's just shock value. It's not even funny. I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian.
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I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry.
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The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
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The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
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I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
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I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
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I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
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I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
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I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
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I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I dont believe in God.
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I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross