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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
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More quotes by David Cross

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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
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I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
David Cross
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
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I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all.
David Cross
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I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.
David Cross
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
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Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
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We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
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My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
David Cross
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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
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I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
David Cross
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I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
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The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
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I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
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I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
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I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, It's just shock value. It's not even funny. I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian.
David Cross
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I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
David Cross
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Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross