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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
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Wanna
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Flight
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Plums
More quotes by David Cross
I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
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Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
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The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
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Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
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I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
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I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
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Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
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I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
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I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
David Cross
