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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Wanna
Magazines
Flight
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Plums
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Magazine
More quotes by David Cross
It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
David Cross
I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
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There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
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In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
David Cross
I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
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I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
David Cross
I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
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I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, It's just shock value. It's not even funny. I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian.
David Cross
I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
David Cross
Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
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I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.
David Cross
