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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
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More quotes by David Cross

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I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
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I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm not a fan, I don't like her, but you can't say anything without being accused of being a sexist pig, which is unfair.
David Cross
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I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
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I love doing stuff with Todd Barry and Jon Benjamin. We give the stage to good bands and funny people.
David Cross
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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
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I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
David Cross
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I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
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I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
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I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
David Cross
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My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
David Cross
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I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
David Cross
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The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
David Cross
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I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
David Cross
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I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
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I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.
David Cross
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I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
David Cross
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Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
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We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
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In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross