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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Write
Mean
Riff
Writing
Onstage
Things
Jokes
Never
Piece
Paper
Pieces
Written

More quotes by David Cross

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I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
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I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
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Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.
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I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
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I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
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Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
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I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
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Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.
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You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
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I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
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I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
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In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross
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I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
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I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
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I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
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I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
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Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross