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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Never
Piece
Paper
Pieces
Written
Write
Mean
Riff
Writing
Onstage
Things
Jokes

More quotes by David Cross

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I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
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It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
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High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
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I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
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I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
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I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
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Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
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I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
David Cross
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I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
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I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry.
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I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
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I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
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I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
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There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
David Cross
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Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
David Cross