Quote

I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.

David Cross

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Paper
Pieces
Written
Write
Mean
Riff
Writing
Onstage
Things
Jokes
Never
Piece

More quotes by David Cross

Image
I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
Image
I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I dont believe in God.
David Cross
Image
Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
Image
I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.
David Cross
Image
I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
Image
In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross
Image
There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
David Cross
Image
It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
David Cross
Image
Ive got a lot of friends there and there is stuff to do but as much as I dislike LA I really like living and working in New York City.
David Cross
Image
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
Image
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
Image
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
Image
I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
David Cross
Image
The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
David Cross
Image
I'd be curious to find out, but I don't think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry.
David Cross
Image
I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.
David Cross
Image
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
Image
Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
Image
I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It's this thing that I carry around. I know I'd be a better person if I was fairer, but it's at the core of who I am and what I believe.
David Cross
Image
I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross