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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Writing
Traditionally
Really
Comics
Alternative
Alternatives
Perform
Straight
Funny
Write
More quotes by David Cross
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
David Cross
I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
David Cross
I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
David Cross
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
David Cross
There were a handful of shows that were just painful. Not many, but things where I just said going into it, Why am I here? What am I doing?
David Cross