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We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
First
Bumper
Right
Wins
Cover
Throw
Somebody
Winning
Left
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More quotes by David Cross

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I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It's this thing that I carry around. I know I'd be a better person if I was fairer, but it's at the core of who I am and what I believe.
David Cross
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Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
David Cross
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Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
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Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.
David Cross
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
David Cross
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I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
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The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
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The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
David Cross
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I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm not a fan, I don't like her, but you can't say anything without being accused of being a sexist pig, which is unfair.
David Cross
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
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I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
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I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I dont believe in God.
David Cross
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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
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In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross
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My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
David Cross
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There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
David Cross