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We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
First
Bumper
Right
Wins
Cover
Throw
Somebody
Winning
Left
Stickers
Firsts
Sticker
More quotes by David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
I think I could have a funnier, more economic sets. But that's the comedy I do. And I understand if people aren't interested in it and would rather listen to someone else. But I'll never understand the anger people have toward me.
David Cross
I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.
David Cross
I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
David Cross
Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
David Cross
Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
David Cross
Aqua Teen Hunger Force is one of the funniest shows on TV and I was a little intimidated working with those guys 'cause you're in a sound booth by yourself and they're all in a room in Atlanta.
David Cross
I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
David Cross
The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, It's just shock value. It's not even funny. I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian.
David Cross
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
David Cross
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
David Cross