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You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Yell
Jokes
Humor
Funny
People
More quotes by David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all.
David Cross
I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, It's just shock value. It's not even funny. I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian.
David Cross
The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
David Cross
I'm directing the Sky show. I'm not going to be in it. I'm just writing and directing it. So that'll satisfy that part of my brain.
David Cross
I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
David Cross
I think the policies, for the most part, that [Hillary Clinton] will put in place are not going to make positive changes. There'll be more status quo. She'll certainly be good for some groups of people. Whatever.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
David Cross
I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
