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You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Humor
Funny
People
Yell
Jokes
More quotes by David Cross
Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all.
David Cross
I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
In my political philosophy - which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton - I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.
David Cross
I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.
David Cross
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
I do lots of other drugs but I smoke pot maybe 5-10 times a year now. I used to smoke it all the time, but I don't, and I haven't for awhile. That's just because it makes me - and I'm not saying this about everybody else - but it makes me kind of dumb and self-conscious.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
My biggest problem is retaining the exact information.
David Cross
I don't want to do 20 minutes on Donald Trump. I want to do 10 minutes and move on. I wouldn't even do that with a live show, because I don't want it to feel like An Evening Of Political Comedy.
David Cross