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I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

David Cross

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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Back
Years
Nine
Never
Lived
Would
Humor
Fine
Went
Almost
Funny

More quotes by David Cross

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You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross
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I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
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I'm concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with.
David Cross
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It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
David Cross
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The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.
David Cross
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I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
David Cross
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I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.
David Cross
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I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
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I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm not a fan, I don't like her, but you can't say anything without being accused of being a sexist pig, which is unfair.
David Cross
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If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
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And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
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It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
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I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
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I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
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I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.
David Cross
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There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross