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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Bumper
Corner
Corners
Paint
Humor
Funny
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Anything
Sticker
More quotes by David Cross
It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
David Cross
I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all.
David Cross
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
I think people, for the most part, actually want what they think is best.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
David Cross
I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!
David Cross
I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.
David Cross
If you wanna find out 101 things to do with plums, heh, read your in-flight magazine.
David Cross
Hopefully people will be reinventing comedy forever and ever. This is just what I do, and it's a type of comedy.
David Cross
I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
David Cross
The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
I work a lot and I like to get out and work but the work I do to make the other work work I'm not very good at.
David Cross
I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.
David Cross
There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
David Cross
I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, Thank you for doing that - type of reviews. It's ballsy, it's honest, it's hilarious - that kind of stuff. Obviously those are fans.
David Cross
