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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
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Antiwar
Jealousy
Terrorism
Winning
Peace
War
Cannot
More quotes by David Cross
[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
David Cross
I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.
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I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
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I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I'm not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations.
David Cross
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally.
David Cross
I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.
David Cross
There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
David Cross
Sketches have characters, exits, entrances and are vastly different.
David Cross
Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
I'm not a centrist, and there's nothing about me that's centrist. I never have been.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
David Cross
Nobody is going to be as bad for free thinking, right-minded individuals than George Bush.
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We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
I do not want to encourage heckling and outbreaks at all.
David Cross
I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
