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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Winning
Peace
War
Cannot
Like
Antiwar
Jealousy
Terrorism
More quotes by David Cross
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.
David Cross
I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
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[On the Dating Handbook] 'With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley's comet.' Yeah. I like that. There's no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together.
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I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm not a fan, I don't like her, but you can't say anything without being accused of being a sexist pig, which is unfair.
David Cross
I've gotten condescending a million times, and that's not good.
David Cross
I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I'm not sure I'd go back.
David Cross
The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.
David Cross
I went to a bunch of marches in New York and Washington, and you know I believe in the cause, but to march with those people takes a lot of compromise on my end.
David Cross
I don't think of my opponents in the sense that I don't think of them consciously, I don't steer it one way or the other.
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It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met someone who wanted to, as far as I know. And perhaps I'm attracted to women who aren't ready to make that commitment just yet.
David Cross
I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.
David Cross
I think pornography is the only art form where you can be videotaped on a shaky handy cam sucking off a horse and be considered a star.
David Cross
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the Republican stuff and the Ayn Rand followers, it doesn't let up for about half an hour. It gets hard and stays hard for a while.
David Cross
I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous.
David Cross
And it's one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter.
David Cross
I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
David Cross
I am truly passionate and concerned about the lack of empathy that people show towards one another.
David Cross
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.
David Cross
