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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.
David Cross
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David Cross
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: April 4
Actor
Comedian
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Roswell
Georgia
Peace
War
Cannot
Like
Antiwar
Jealousy
Terrorism
Winning
More quotes by David Cross
I would say just stop watching me, I guess, at this point. That is what I do, and it probably is, in some way, a bit of a lecture. I can see how that's not something that would be enticing for you to watch in a stand-up hour.
David Cross
I really don't have a problem with gay marriage... because I'm tolerant and rational.
David Cross
There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.
David Cross
I'd like to think that I'm not just making the point that I'm an atheist over and over, but that I explore different facets of religion. There's no way of bringing up religion without sounding like an asshole.
David Cross
I'm pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I'm on the above-average side of happy people.
David Cross
I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.
David Cross
I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.
David Cross
I've never written jokes. I mean, I'll write things on a piece of paper and riff on them onstage.
David Cross
Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I've always had people upset. I've never been the consummate crowd-pleaser.
David Cross
I'd say 95 percent of my audience was white. They were mostly kind of older hipster folks like myself.
David Cross
I'm not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country.
David Cross
I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.
David Cross
It probably does make it more difficult to enjoy a good laugh at someone who's onstage, seemingly yelling at you. But I'm not yelling at the audience, I'm yelling at the world. It genuinely sucks if people are taking it that way. But I'm not talking to individuals.
David Cross
We should just get somebody from the left and the right and they should all throw bumper stickers at each other and the first one to cover the other one wins.
David Cross
I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.
David Cross
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but come on, ya know.
David Cross
There were a number of referendums in '98 that most of the things I voted for passed. That's very satisfying when you feel that most of the country is in step with your views.
David Cross
I stand by everything I said. I absolutely can defend my material, and I take issue with people who say, It's just shock value. It's not even funny. I disagree. There's different ways to be funny and to be a comedian.
David Cross
We get to see it! January 1st, 2000! We get to see... all those fundamentalist preachers having to do their backpedaling when the Armageddon doesn't occur.
David Cross
I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him.
David Cross