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I want my tombstone to read: If this is a joke, I don't get it.

David Brenner

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David Brenner
Age: 78 †
Born: 1936
Born: February 4
Died: 2014
Died: March 15
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Philadelphia
Pennsylvania
David Norris Brenner
Read
Tombstone
Joke
Jokes

More quotes by David Brenner

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Nothing is going to stop Mike Tyson that doesn't have a motor attached.
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A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.
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The truth is that God is to be found in all things - even and most especially in the painful, tragic and unpleasant things.
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Friends are the most important part of your life. Treasure the tears, treasure the laughter, but most importantly, treasure the memories.
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When Mrs. Clinton ran for office, she promised economic growth across New York state, to bring in more than 200,000 jobs, ... She has not. We have lost jobs to outsourcing and globalization and to sending our jobs and industries to foreign countries.
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We cannot attain the presence of God. We're already totally in the presence of God. What's missing is awareness.
David Brenner
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We work very, very hard to find that fine line where location is meaningful enough to be interesting to an advertiser but not so intrusive that it interrupts the creative flow of the show.
David Brenner
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When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.
David Brenner
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What we want to do is raise the bare minimum amount that will give us a large enough microphone to effectively convey our message. Unfortunately, $20 million is critical mass in terms of running an effective campaign in New York.
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Digital brand integration is part of the evolution of product placement. It's simply another tool marketers use to get products integrated into shows. If you can put it in a package, we can put it in a show.
David Brenner