The Internet contains everything in the whole wide world ever. I don’t know about you, but I find everything in the whole wide world ever to be a bit distracting.

The fear of offending can be stronger than the fear of pain

I'd hate to compare anyone with Sugar Ray Robinson, but Donald is the closest thing to Robinson I've ever seen

If a story is funny, and I made it up, then the big message is, `Aren't I clever?' .. If a story is funny and it actually happened, the big message is, `Isn't the world funny?' And actually I think that's a better message. I kind of want to think that about the world -- and it sounds less like boasting.