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I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
Dave Chappelle
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Dave Chappelle
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: August 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
David Khari Webber Chappelle
David Khari Dave Webber Chappelle
Funny
Chronic
Dave
Comedy
More quotes by Dave Chappelle
The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
Dave Chappelle
For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
Dave Chappelle
I started when I was 14. I figured out that's what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, You're gonna be a comedian, and all this stuff.
Dave Chappelle
Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work.
Dave Chappelle
The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
Dave Chappelle
What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
Dave Chappelle
America, I appreciate you liking me.
Dave Chappelle
I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.
Dave Chappelle
I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.
Dave Chappelle
When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
Dave Chappelle
Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say.
Dave Chappelle
I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a vested interest in controlling you.
Dave Chappelle
Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.
Dave Chappelle
I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.
Dave Chappelle
I'm an introspective dude.
Dave Chappelle
Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.
Dave Chappelle
I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore.
Dave Chappelle
You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
Dave Chappelle
The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.
Dave Chappelle
Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It's not like I'm doing heavy lifting up there. It's not like I'm solving the world's problems. It's like I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and it's cool.
Dave Chappelle
