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I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Dave Chappelle

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Dave Chappelle
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: August 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
David Khari Webber Chappelle
David Khari Dave Webber Chappelle
Chronic
Dave
Comedy
Funny

More quotes by Dave Chappelle

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The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
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Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
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Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.
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I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
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Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they're socially callous.
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I don't really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that's not ballin' to me.
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If someone sits and stares at you while you eat, you won't even eat the way you normally do, because it'll make you so uncomfortable. If I look at my dog when he's eating, he will look at me like, Dave, I will bite you. What are you looking at? I'm trying to eat. It's something that dehumanizes a person, being on display like that.
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Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
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I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.
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The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
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People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
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Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.
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I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore.
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Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'
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I started when I was 14. I figured out that's what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, You're gonna be a comedian, and all this stuff.
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When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
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The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
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I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.
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America, I appreciate you liking me.
Dave Chappelle
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I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous.
Dave Chappelle