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I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Dave Chappelle

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Dave Chappelle
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: August 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
David Khari Webber Chappelle
David Khari Dave Webber Chappelle
Dave
Comedy
Funny
Chronic

More quotes by Dave Chappelle

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Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention?
Dave Chappelle
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When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
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I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.
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I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a vested interest in controlling you.
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I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.
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Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.
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Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
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The language you are about to hear... is disturbing.
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I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.
Dave Chappelle
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I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
Dave Chappelle
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Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
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I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.
Dave Chappelle
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I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.
Dave Chappelle
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I'm an introspective dude.
Dave Chappelle
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I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.
Dave Chappelle
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I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous.
Dave Chappelle
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The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
Dave Chappelle
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I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
Dave Chappelle
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I got a lot of positive people around me.
Dave Chappelle
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I'm happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn't make things easier, but I'm so much better at handling them.
Dave Chappelle