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I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.

Dave Chappelle

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Dave Chappelle
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: August 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
David Khari Webber Chappelle
David Khari Dave Webber Chappelle
Chronic
Dave
Comedy
Funny

More quotes by Dave Chappelle

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Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
Dave Chappelle
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You've got to say 'yes' to your destiny. Life's happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!
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I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
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I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.
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I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.
Dave Chappelle
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Fame for me is like a place, a country I'm taking a tour through.
Dave Chappelle
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I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?
Dave Chappelle
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If someone sits and stares at you while you eat, you won't even eat the way you normally do, because it'll make you so uncomfortable. If I look at my dog when he's eating, he will look at me like, Dave, I will bite you. What are you looking at? I'm trying to eat. It's something that dehumanizes a person, being on display like that.
Dave Chappelle
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Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say.
Dave Chappelle
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America, I appreciate you liking me.
Dave Chappelle
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I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.
Dave Chappelle
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I'm an introspective dude.
Dave Chappelle
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All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
Dave Chappelle
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I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
Dave Chappelle
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People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
Dave Chappelle
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I was 23. When you're 23, your concern is not for the greater good of humanity. I didn't feel like I was unleashing an evil on society or anything. At the time, that's what I was into, and I did a movie about it.
Dave Chappelle
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When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
Dave Chappelle
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The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
Dave Chappelle
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Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebrity could find themselves in a position where people could have meetings about their life without them involved. And when I say their life I mean not their professional life either. They could talk about their personal life.
Dave Chappelle