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Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work.
Dave Chappelle
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Dave Chappelle
Age: 51
Born: 1973
Born: August 24
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Street Artist
Television Actor
Television Producer
Washington
District of Columbia
David Khari Webber Chappelle
David Khari Dave Webber Chappelle
Listen
Work
Years
Never
Technically
Quit
Quitting
Seven
Late
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There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic.
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I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.
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I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.
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Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It's not like I'm doing heavy lifting up there. It's not like I'm solving the world's problems. It's like I'm hanging out with a bunch of people and it's cool.
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I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
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Weed's not as bad as everything else... 'cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain't crisp... but you'll function.
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I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.
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I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
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What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
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The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
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Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention?
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Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.
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I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.
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I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
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I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
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I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.
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You've got to say 'yes' to your destiny. Life's happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!
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The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.
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Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.
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