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I'm one of those people who tells my wife, No coaching from the sidelines.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
People
Sidelines
Coaching
Tells
Wife

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DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.
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I've been checking with people back in South Florida to see if Hurricane Dennis is going to whack my house, and the consensus of the experts seems to be: No, it will not, unless it does, in which case, yes. So I'm feeling really calm over here in London.
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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
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Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby. So I got a hobby. I make beer.
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My son wouldn't go get heroin. If he did or didn't, it wouldn't have anything to do with whether it was legal or illegal.
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Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said Alf. “We can go days without food.” “We can what?” Tubby Ted shouted.
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I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.
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The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'
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Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
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Why else do we have Miami, if not to give me material?
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Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35 Chicken or Beef $2.25 Children $2.00
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You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings - even the truth.
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And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.
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Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.
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Someone was tapping on the window.
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I am a superior form of human and I have absolutely no quirks or irrational impulses of any kind.
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Your friends love you anyway.
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I want to gag sometimes when I see who we are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.
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At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that: •The universe is even bigger than they thought! •There are even more subatomic particles than they thought! •Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.
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In South Florida, we have industrial cockroaches that have to be equipped with loud warning beepers so you can get out of their way when they back up.
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