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Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Python
Generally
Killing
Else
Anything
Better

More quotes by Dave Barry

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What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.
Dave Barry
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If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Dave Barry
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Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed up all night rubbing it with germoline and banging its head on the table.
Dave Barry
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The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.
Dave Barry
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I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
Dave Barry
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The Internet browser... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.
Dave Barry
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Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
Dave Barry
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As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
Dave Barry
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One of the major hobbies in South Florida is keeping animals that no sane person would want to keep. One of those is snakes. They usually get them when they're small, and when they get too big, they let them go. But there are also people with monkeys, lions, tigers. And they all get away, eventually.
Dave Barry
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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
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Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.
Dave Barry
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I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
Dave Barry
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A full-grown manatee, which can weigh more than 1,000 pounds, looks like the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp.
Dave Barry
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The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes.
Dave Barry
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I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.
Dave Barry
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I grew up in the Southwest Bronx. Father an accountant, mother a schoolteacher. Brother was six years older, which explains why I gobbled crystal meth at 12, smoked hashish at 13, and was shooting smack at 17, which explains how I got Hepatitis C, which was the basis of my first book, which was a humor book about dying.
Dave Barry
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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
Dave Barry
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It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.
Dave Barry
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When the boomers started to have kids reach adolescence, there was suddenly this feeling that they needed to protect their kids from all the same things they did when they were kids. Which I guess is a natural tendency, but it makes for a less fun society.
Dave Barry
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A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.
Dave Barry