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I read the whole Jack Reacher series by Lee Child. They don't take long.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Whole
Children
Long
Reacher
Jack
Series
Child
Read
Take

More quotes by Dave Barry

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The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.
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The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
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Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby. So I got a hobby. I make beer.
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England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
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The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings.
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A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
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Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.
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A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.
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I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
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If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
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Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.
Dave Barry
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We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
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Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
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The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts.
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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.
Dave Barry
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
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Most of the presidential candidates' economic packages involve 'tax breaks,' which is when the government, amid great fanfare, generously decides not to take quite so much of your income. In other words, these candidates are trying to buy your votes with your own money.
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Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
Dave Barry
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In Los Angeles, the jury in the Reginald Denny Beating trial, after much thinking, concludes, that Person A is not necessarily trying to kill Person B just because Person A happens to very deliberately bash Person B's skull in with a brick. The verdict is applauded by scientists at the Tobacco Institute.
Dave Barry