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I read Warren Zevon's bizarre biography, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead. His wife, Crystal Zevon, posthumously published a journal he wrote and some interviews with ex-band members. Like [Keith] Richards's book Life, it's brutally honest.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
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Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
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We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
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One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
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The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the lamest, wimpiest beer in the entire known world. All the other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer, and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
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Eventually everyone has to die, except Elvis.
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I don't think the press has done a very good job dealing with government spending.The Defense Department with the $9,500 toilet seat, that's not the problem anymore. Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security are the problem. That's us. That's our generation. There the press never says a word.
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I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
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Another foreign-policy triumph for Reagan was his 1984 visit to China, where he met for more than three hours with Mao Zedong before realizing that Mao was dead.
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[American tax laws] are constantly changing as our elected representatives seek new ways to ensure that whatever tax advice we receive is incorrect.
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The reason it's called Grape Nuts is that it contains dextrose, which is also sometimes called grape sugar, and also because Grape Nuts is catchier, in terms of marketing, than A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel, which is what it tastes like.
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Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?
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Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.
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There's an old saying among scientific guys: You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, ideally by dropping a cement truck on them from a crane.
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I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.
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I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
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Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.
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Long, long ago, before eruptions were invented, the molten lava had to be carried down the mountainside, bucket by bucket, and poured over the sleeping villagers. This took time.
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I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
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The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.
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At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that: •The universe is even bigger than they thought! •There are even more subatomic particles than they thought! •Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.
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The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
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