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I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Point
Trying
Make
Never
Life
Entertain
Reader

More quotes by Dave Barry

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There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
Dave Barry
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All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
Dave Barry
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The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch thrown sticks, thereby freeing humans from having to perform these tedious yet vital tasks.
Dave Barry
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Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.
Dave Barry
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I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.
Dave Barry
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The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
Dave Barry
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I argue very well. Just ask any of my remaining friends.
Dave Barry
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The method (of learning Japanese) recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family, in Japan. And even then it's not easy.
Dave Barry
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Avoid the traffic by using one of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger.
Dave Barry
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You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.
Dave Barry
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If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
Dave Barry
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The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.
Dave Barry
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I would say that the single most important conclusion I reached, after traveling through Japan, as well as countless hours reading, studying, and analyzing this fascinating culture, is that you should always tighten the cap on the shampoo bottle before you put it in your suitcase.
Dave Barry
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But the feeling I have, you know, is that I'll never come close to reading all, or even a thousandth- a billionth- of the books I'd probably love if I ever got to them.
Dave Barry
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Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
Dave Barry
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You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.
Dave Barry
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Actually, there are people from all ove - not just Latin America, certainly not just Cuba, but all over Europe, all over the United States. I like that. I like knowing a lot of different types of people. And I can afford to live in a relatively safe part of Miami.
Dave Barry
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If Mozart had power tools, there's no telling how great his music might have been.
Dave Barry
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To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
Dave Barry
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One of the major hobbies in South Florida is keeping animals that no sane person would want to keep. One of those is snakes. They usually get them when they're small, and when they get too big, they let them go. But there are also people with monkeys, lions, tigers. And they all get away, eventually.
Dave Barry