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What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Visible
Kept
Sight
Grew
Paleolithic
Important
Discreetly
People
Eras
Stomach
Muscles

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One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
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If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
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I am a superior form of human and I have absolutely no quirks or irrational impulses of any kind.
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And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
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For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
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I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.
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The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.
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There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
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The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
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I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
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By the eighties, a lot of radio stations had started playing Sixties music. They called it Classic Rock, because they knew we'd be upset if they came right out and called it what it is, namely middle-aged-person nostalgia music.
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The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.
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Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.
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Please try not to be such a wiener-head.
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It's a real smug self-righteous punk kid saying nobody has the right to tell him what to do and how dare you put a sign up saying that I can't go on your property?
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This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to get a beer.
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Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.
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You might have mentioned this to me Molly,” said Leonard. “The fact that there are hostile natives on the island.” “I forgot,” said Molly. “You forgot?” said Leonard. “There’s been a lot happening,” said Molly.
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