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I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Person
Worn
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Violent
Flower
Products
Actually
Bell
Power
Bells
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Jeans

More quotes by Dave Barry

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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Dave Barry
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In Los Angeles, the jury in the Reginald Denny Beating trial, after much thinking, concludes, that Person A is not necessarily trying to kill Person B just because Person A happens to very deliberately bash Person B's skull in with a brick. The verdict is applauded by scientists at the Tobacco Institute.
Dave Barry
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We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.
Dave Barry
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There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
Dave Barry
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English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.
Dave Barry
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I know that all over America there's probably politicians sending out pictures of themselves signing that mandatory helmet bill, but it's bullshit. I say that as a parent.
Dave Barry
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The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.
Dave Barry
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Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
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I want to gag sometimes when I see who we are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.
Dave Barry
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Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!
Dave Barry
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A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Dave Barry
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Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it.
Dave Barry
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Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
Dave Barry
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Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.
Dave Barry
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Funny, isn't it? The airlines go to all that trouble to keep you from taking a gun on board, then they just hand you a dinner roll you could kill a musk ox with.
Dave Barry
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You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Dave Barry
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
Dave Barry
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Another foreign-policy triumph for Reagan was his 1984 visit to China, where he met for more than three hours with Mao Zedong before realizing that Mao was dead.
Dave Barry
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Think, for a moment, of the countless happy childhood hours you spent with this amazing device: Drawing perfect horizontals, drawing perfect verticals, drawing really spastic diagonals, trying to scrape away the silver powder from the window so you could look inside.
Dave Barry
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If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
Dave Barry