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I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Power
Bells
Persons
Jeans
Person
Worn
Product
Violent
Flower
Products
Actually
Bell

More quotes by Dave Barry

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Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
Dave Barry
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The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
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Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, 'You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers.'
Dave Barry
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I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader.
Dave Barry
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Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs are not exactly Mensa members either, but they definitely make better pets than tropical fish.
Dave Barry
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Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.
Dave Barry
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What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
Dave Barry
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Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Travel articles appear in publications that sell large, expensive advertisements to tourism-related industries, and these industries do not wish to see articles with headlines like: URUGUAY: DON'T BOTHER.
Dave Barry
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...light overcomes darkenss. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe, [darkness] can be defeated.
Dave Barry
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England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
Dave Barry
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Why else do we have Miami, if not to give me material?
Dave Barry
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Black Stache had no love for the Queen, no love for women of any sort, except for his ma. He had a real soft spot for his ma, and was truly sorry for the time he’d marooned her.
Dave Barry
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I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
Dave Barry
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Dave Barry
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If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?
Dave Barry
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I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
Dave Barry
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Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.
Dave Barry
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Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the 'most reliable Windows ever.' To me, this is like saying that asparagus is 'the most articulate vegetable ever.'
Dave Barry
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Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.
Dave Barry
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If for some reason you are unsure where to go, all you have to do is stand there looking lost, and within seconds a helpful New Yorker will approach to see if you have any spare change.
Dave Barry