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If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Smart
Europe
Seem
Seems
Come
Many
People
Deodorant
Locate
More quotes by Dave Barry
This is true virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat content.
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I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.
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Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
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The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
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If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
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The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.
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And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.
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If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.
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Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
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The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
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Canada, as you know, is a major important nation boasting a sophisticated, cosmopolitan culture that was tragically destroyed last week by beavers.
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What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
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Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living.
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A full-grown manatee, which can weigh more than 1,000 pounds, looks like the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp.
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As you get older you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.
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In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
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Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.
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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
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Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tenative agreements.
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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
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