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Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Country
Inhaling
Fumes
Thinner
Paint
Asks
Whether

More quotes by Dave Barry

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But the feeling I have, you know, is that I'll never come close to reading all, or even a thousandth- a billionth- of the books I'd probably love if I ever got to them.
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Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out.
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It may be meaningless, but at least it's a gesture.
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Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
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If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.
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Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
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Actually, there are people from all ove - not just Latin America, certainly not just Cuba, but all over Europe, all over the United States. I like that. I like knowing a lot of different types of people. And I can afford to live in a relatively safe part of Miami.
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The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
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I have never had a point in my life to make. I'm just trying to entertain the reader.
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Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.
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What's happened to marriage? The wedding-industrial complex. Brides get swept up in this world of obsession - it has to be your perfect day.
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I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.
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Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.
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Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.
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You should never pick up a newspaper when you're feeling good, because every newspaper has a special department, called the Bummer Desk, which is responsible for digging up depressing front-page stories.
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The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, people without lives. We don't care. We have each other.
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry