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Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Cancer
Number
Voter
Behinds
Tourism
Behind
Florida
Industry
Fraud
Numbers
Voters
Three
Skin
Skins
More quotes by Dave Barry
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.
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AARP is a large and powerful organization, similar to the Mafia but more concerned about dietary fiber.
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[American tax laws] are constantly changing as our elected representatives seek new ways to ensure that whatever tax advice we receive is incorrect.
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Tokyo is huge. Something like 15 million people live there, and my estimate is that at any given moment, 14.7 million of them are lost.
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Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.
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A critical function that we journalists perform at political conventions is to try to get into parties that we have not been invited to. There are dozens of these parties, sponsored by large corporations with a sincere public-spirited desire to become larger.
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As the saying goes: If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist.
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I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone.
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Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.
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What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
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It was you readers who really came through, proving once again that when the American people decide to get involved in a problem, it is best not to let them have any sharp implements.
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Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.
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When the boomers started to have kids reach adolescence, there was suddenly this feeling that they needed to protect their kids from all the same things they did when they were kids. Which I guess is a natural tendency, but it makes for a less fun society.
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No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
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If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.
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In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford- were caused by erosion.
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He's a boating enthusiast, although that phrase seems too weak to describe the level of his interest, kind of like describing someone as a heroin fancier.
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I'm one of those people who tells my wife, No coaching from the sidelines.
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All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by themselves these are all connected to a special programming service called Music That Nobody Really Likes, and you cannot get away from it.
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