Quote

You cannot paint the exterior of your house. You have to take the paint chip down to show the paint-chip Nazis.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Take
Exterior
Chips
Nazi
Paint
Show
House
Shows
Nazis
Cannot
Chip

More quotes by Dave Barry

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I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
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If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
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I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
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Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.
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The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the lamest, wimpiest beer in the entire known world. All the other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer, and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
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Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.
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It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.
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Every year, hundreds of thousands of people try their hand at this demanding profession (humor columnist). After a few months, almost all of them have given up and gone back to the ninth grade.
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For Dad, the perfect Father's Day would be one in which he didn't even realize that it was Father's Day, because nobody was making him appreciate gifts he didn't want, or read greeting cards filled with lame Father's Day poetry.
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It is important to be nice. But sometimes niceness can be misconstrued as weak. Should we be nice to everybody? Should we be nice only when others are nice to us? Here are some interesting views about being nice. Read these nice quotes and turn on your niceness.
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To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life.
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I'm not sure you can count as history, was Keith Richards's Life, which he so modestly titled it. I did find it a fascinating book. Keith's a pretty honest fellow.
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The planes are crowded and noisy and late, and everybody hates everybody. If armed terrorists had tried to hijack any of the flights I've been on lately, we passengers would have swiftly beaten them to death with those hard rolls you get with your in-flight meals.
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Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.
Dave Barry
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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
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A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
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Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.
Dave Barry
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I read the whole Jack Reacher series by Lee Child. They don't take long.
Dave Barry
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Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Dave Barry
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Why else do we have Miami, if not to give me material?
Dave Barry