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My son wouldn't go get heroin. If he did or didn't, it wouldn't have anything to do with whether it was legal or illegal.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Wouldn
Whether
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Anything
Heroin
Legal
Illegal
Son
More quotes by Dave Barry
Too many rocks in the mountains.
Dave Barry
There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: passive systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and active systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.
Dave Barry
More and more products are coming out in fiercely protective packaging designed to prevent consumers from consuming them. These days you have to open almost every consumer item by gnawing on the packaging.
Dave Barry
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
Dave Barry
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry
Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you.
Dave Barry
DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleicantidisestablishmentarianism, a complex string of syllables.
Dave Barry
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
Dave Barry
The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
Dave Barry
Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.
Dave Barry
A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.
Dave Barry
Long, long ago, before eruptions were invented, the molten lava had to be carried down the mountainside, bucket by bucket, and poured over the sleeping villagers. This took time.
Dave Barry
When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!
Dave Barry
Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Dave Barry
Here's a man who was twice elected to the most powerful position on Earth despite needing a TelePrompTer to correctly identify what year it was.
Dave Barry
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon
Dave Barry
What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.
Dave Barry
Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living.
Dave Barry
The whole thing about whether you smoke marijuana or not is so ridiculous. That and whether you protested the Vietnam War. Give me a break. Especially the marijuana thing.
Dave Barry
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Dave Barry
