Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The whole thing about whether you smoke marijuana or not is so ridiculous. That and whether you protested the Vietnam War. Give me a break. Especially the marijuana thing.
Dave Barry
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
War
Protested
Give
Marijuana
Whole
Vietnam
Giving
Smoke
Thing
Ridiculous
Especially
Break
Whether
More quotes by Dave Barry
I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone.
Dave Barry
Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz.
Dave Barry
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry
The first animals to be successfully domesticated were dogs, which were a big help because they would bark all night and fetch thrown sticks, thereby freeing humans from having to perform these tedious yet vital tasks.
Dave Barry
I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
Dave Barry
Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said Alf. “We can go days without food.” “We can what?” Tubby Ted shouted.
Dave Barry
I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.
Dave Barry
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Dave Barry
Yet another spunky li'l NASA robot lands and begins transmitting back photographs of rocks that appear virtually identical to the rock photos beamed back by all the other spunky li'l NASA robots, thus confirming suspicions that the universe has a LOT of rocks in it.
Dave Barry
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.
Dave Barry
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
Dave Barry
Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
Dave Barry
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
Dave Barry
Never lick a steak knife.
Dave Barry
The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but very few barracuda can read.
Dave Barry
But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land. (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)
Dave Barry
Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.
Dave Barry
The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
Dave Barry
They have a lot of trouble with pronunciation, because they can't move their jaw muscles, because of malnutrition caused by wisely refusing to eat English food, much of which was designed and manufactured in medieval times during the reign of King Walter the Mildly Disturbed.
Dave Barry
Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.
Dave Barry