Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Technically, Windows is an operating system, which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.
Dave Barry
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Basic
Commands
Window
Operating
Computer
Supplies
System
Whatsoever
Stop
Windows
Means
Warning
Mean
Command
Needs
Suddenly
Technically
More quotes by Dave Barry
And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life
Dave Barry
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.
Dave Barry
The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
Dave Barry
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.
Dave Barry
I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
Dave Barry
I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.
Dave Barry
The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
Dave Barry
I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.
Dave Barry
There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: passive systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and active systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.
Dave Barry
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
Dave Barry
Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said Alf. “We can go days without food.” “We can what?” Tubby Ted shouted.
Dave Barry
Avoid the traffic by using one of the park's shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger.
Dave Barry
In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.
Dave Barry
We decide to start with the best-known sight of all, the one that, more than any other, exemplifies what the Big Apple is all about: the Islip Garbage Barge.
Dave Barry
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry
If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
Dave Barry
It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.
Dave Barry
It's a real smug self-righteous punk kid saying nobody has the right to tell him what to do and how dare you put a sign up saying that I can't go on your property?
Dave Barry
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Dave Barry
By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.
Dave Barry