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I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Hold
Called
Company
Bob
Speak
Answered
Persons
Vacation
Person
Stupidity
Would
God
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Asked
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One of the issues that we professional newspaper columnists are required by union regulations to voice grave concern about is the federal budget deficit, which we refer to as the mounting deficit, because every extra word helps when you have to produce a certain number of gravely concerned newsprint inches.
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This is true virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat content.
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I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark.
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Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
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The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
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As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.
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Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.
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And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.
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There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.
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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
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All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
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Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.
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More and more products are coming out in fiercely protective packaging designed to prevent consumers from consuming them. These days you have to open almost every consumer item by gnawing on the packaging.
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