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Too many rocks in the mountains.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Mountains
Stupidity
God
Mountain
Rocks
Many

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...light overcomes darkenss. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe, [darkness] can be defeated.
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Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.
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In Los Angeles, the jury in the Reginald Denny Beating trial, after much thinking, concludes, that Person A is not necessarily trying to kill Person B just because Person A happens to very deliberately bash Person B's skull in with a brick. The verdict is applauded by scientists at the Tobacco Institute.
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Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.
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This is true virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat content.
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The method (of learning Japanese) recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family, in Japan. And even then it's not easy.
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A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.
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If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?
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Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.
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The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
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For 41 years I have gone with a very natural hair look that was originally popularized by coconuts.
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Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
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I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
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If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.
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Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.
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If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
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I would say that the single most important conclusion I reached, after traveling through Japan, as well as countless hours reading, studying, and analyzing this fascinating culture, is that you should always tighten the cap on the shampoo bottle before you put it in your suitcase.
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