Quote

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Parts
Tray
Case
Trays
Paper
Blinking
Cases
Printer
Three
Geek
Light
Consists
Red
Main
Jammed

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Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes.
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Dogs make good pets because they are very loyal
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I grew up in the Southwest Bronx. Father an accountant, mother a schoolteacher. Brother was six years older, which explains why I gobbled crystal meth at 12, smoked hashish at 13, and was shooting smack at 17, which explains how I got Hepatitis C, which was the basis of my first book, which was a humor book about dying.
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Real cars were made here in America: Fords, Chevys, Plymouths. These were large chunks of Detroit iron - cars that had the size, weight, and handling characteristics of aircraft carriers but worse fuel efficiency.
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The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
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Never lick a steak knife.
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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
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Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.
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European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.
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On behalf of the newspaper industry I wish to announce some changes we're making to serve you better. When I say 'serve you better,'' I mean 'increase our profits.' We newspapers are very big on profits these days. We're a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.
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Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
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My son wouldn't go get heroin. If he did or didn't, it wouldn't have anything to do with whether it was legal or illegal.
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There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
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I argue very well. Just ask any of my remaining friends.
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When Prince Charles speaks, everybody pretends to be fascinated, even though he has never said anything interesting except in that intercepted telephone conversation wherein he expressed the desire to be a feminine hygeine product.
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For Dad, the perfect Father's Day would be one in which he didn't even realize that it was Father's Day, because nobody was making him appreciate gifts he didn't want, or read greeting cards filled with lame Father's Day poetry.
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The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.
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I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
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The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - 'to spew out paper.'
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