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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Parts
Tray
Case
Trays
Paper
Blinking
Cases
Printer
Three
Geek
Light
Consists
Red
Main
Jammed
More quotes by Dave Barry
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
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But if I hadn't shoved you off the boat back there,you'd be lost at sea now,wouldn't you? We'd all be lost! So thanks to me you're all standing on land. (Pirates, its a good thing they're idiots)
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If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
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My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over a period of many years. This is why your parents started to get so stupid just at the time in your life when you were getting really smart.
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One of the issues that we professional newspaper columnists are required by union regulations to voice grave concern about is the federal budget deficit, which we refer to as the mounting deficit, because every extra word helps when you have to produce a certain number of gravely concerned newsprint inches.
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I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
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Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby. So I got a hobby. I make beer.
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I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
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When Prince Charles speaks, everybody pretends to be fascinated, even though he has never said anything interesting except in that intercepted telephone conversation wherein he expressed the desire to be a feminine hygeine product.
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Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
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To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.
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It may be meaningless, but at least it's a gesture.
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There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace.
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What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be colonial.
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The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.
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The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'
Dave Barry
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
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Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.
Dave Barry
The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.
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The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.
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