Quote

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Red
Main
Jammed
Parts
Tray
Case
Trays
Paper
Blinking
Cases
Printer
Three
Geek
Light
Consists

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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
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With a novel, you have to have a story. It's much more important to have it matter to the reader what happens to people, and it has to make sense and end in a way that is satisfying. So I spend a lot more time thinking about that. Then the writing itself usually is easier for me, because I know where it's going.
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Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid
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Note that both of these papers [the New York Post and the New York Daily News] are big sellers in a city whose residents like to go around saying they'd never live anyplace else on account of they'd miss the opera.
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I was a middle-of-the-road Democrat more than anything else. I know I voted for Carter. Watergate taught me how bad the Republicans were.
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There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?
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The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.
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As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.
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A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.
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The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.
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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
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Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
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If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things about them: 1. They all had editors. 2. They are all dead. Thus we can draw the scientific conclusion that editors are fatal.
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Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art.
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Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
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I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
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The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
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Generally the pythons are better than anything else at killing.
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If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
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