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There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Inspiring
Two
Kind
World
Woodpeckers
People
Cocktails
Scent
Sunshine
Kinds

More quotes by Dave Barry

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I don't have any insight or understanding on anything about the government. All I think is that it's stupid - which is the one perspective that's almost completely lacking in Washington.
Dave Barry
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Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.
Dave Barry
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Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.
Dave Barry
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I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark.
Dave Barry
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Technology is constantly improving our lives. Look at the cellular telephone. Just ten years ago, virtually nobody was able to get into a car crash caused by trying to steer and dial at the same time today, people do this all the time.
Dave Barry
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...light overcomes darkenss. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe, [darkness] can be defeated.
Dave Barry
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
Dave Barry
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I want to gag sometimes when I see who we are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.
Dave Barry
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Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball only the part where you drive the cart.
Dave Barry
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It takes a minimum of six people, working in close harmony, to successfully flush a nautical toilet. That's why those old ships carried such large crews.
Dave Barry
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There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.
Dave Barry
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I was a middle-of-the-road Democrat more than anything else. I know I voted for Carter. Watergate taught me how bad the Republicans were.
Dave Barry
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The Republicans have a high Beady-Eyed Self-Righteous Scary Borderline Loon Quotient, as evidenced by Phyllis Schlafly, Pat Robertson, the entire state of Utah, etc.
Dave Barry
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All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by themselves these are all connected to a special programming service called Music That Nobody Really Likes, and you cannot get away from it.
Dave Barry
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Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
Dave Barry
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Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
Dave Barry
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I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
Dave Barry
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If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
Dave Barry
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The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry
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The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
Dave Barry