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There's an old saying among scientific guys: You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, ideally by dropping a cement truck on them from a crane.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Make
Scientific
Omelets
Guys
Cranes
Among
Ideally
Saying
Cement
Guy
Dropping
Funny
Truck
Science
Eggs
Omelet
Without
Breaking
Crane

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Nobody understands how hard it is, being a captain.
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If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
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I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
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I am a superior form of human and I have absolutely no quirks or irrational impulses of any kind.
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If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
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Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.
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Miami, you can never run out of material. As long as you have Miami around you, you will never, never stop being amused.
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