Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
As a taxpayer, you are required to be fully in compliance with the United States Tax Code, which is currently the size and weight of the Budweiser Clydesdales.
Dave Barry
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Size
Taxpayer
Weight
Compliance
Taxes
Currently
United
Taxpayers
States
Taxation
Required
Code
Fully
Budweiser
More quotes by Dave Barry
Reading... a vacation for the mind.
Dave Barry
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
Dave Barry
I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
Dave Barry
Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Dave Barry
Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.
Dave Barry
Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.
Dave Barry
I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
Dave Barry
Orangutan are very weird animals but they look very soulful.
Dave Barry
You have to be careful on the deck, because of the hatches, which are holes placed around a sailboat at random to increase the insurance rates.
Dave Barry
As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.
Dave Barry
We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.
Dave Barry
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.
Dave Barry
The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.
Dave Barry
Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
Dave Barry
Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.
Dave Barry
Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.
Dave Barry
Note that both of these papers [the New York Post and the New York Daily News] are big sellers in a city whose residents like to go around saying they'd never live anyplace else on account of they'd miss the opera.
Dave Barry
In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.
Dave Barry
Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
Dave Barry
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Dave Barry