Quote

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

Dave Barry

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Men
Marriage
Humor
Fight
Fighting
Society
Strangers
Funny
Weren
Women
Total
Would
Stranger

More quotes by Dave Barry

Image
In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes.
Dave Barry
Image
I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause.
Dave Barry
Image
If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.
Dave Barry
Image
Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
Dave Barry
Image
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Dave Barry
Image
I actually kind of like Janet Reno. She seems like a nice enough lady. But when you're basically going through the entire phone book trying to find women lawyers who don't have maids to pick the attorney general of the United States, how well can you do?
Dave Barry
Image
The method (of learning Japanese) recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family, in Japan. And even then it's not easy.
Dave Barry
Image
Millions of Americans own dogs, because they are good-natured, simple, and easily amused. I am referring here to the Americans. The dogs are not exactly Mensa members either, but they definitely make better pets than tropical fish.
Dave Barry
Image
The Internet browser... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.
Dave Barry
Image
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
Dave Barry
Image
Congress is thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists broadcast signals to Alien beings. This would be a large mistake. Alien beings have atomic blaster death cannons. You cannot cut off their federal programs as if they were merely poor people.
Dave Barry
Image
Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?
Dave Barry
Image
My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over a period of many years. This is why your parents started to get so stupid just at the time in your life when you were getting really smart.
Dave Barry
Image
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Dave Barry
Image
Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.
Dave Barry
Image
Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the 'most reliable Windows ever.' To me, this is like saying that asparagus is 'the most articulate vegetable ever.'
Dave Barry
Image
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry
Image
In the words of a very famous dead person, 'A nation that does not know its history is doomed to do poorly on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.
Dave Barry
Image
On behalf of the newspaper industry I wish to announce some changes we're making to serve you better. When I say 'serve you better,'' I mean 'increase our profits.' We newspapers are very big on profits these days. We're a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.
Dave Barry
Image
Famous designers think nothing of putting their names on your clothing, but would have the servants set the dogs on you if you ever tried to put your name on their clothing.
Dave Barry