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San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
People
Imaginary
Companion
Sidewalk
Holding
Companions
Leads
Francisco
Travel
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Conversation
Conversations
Funny
Purely
World
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When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!
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Can we move this conversation along, I'm getting frightfully tired of 'hoa'.
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If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
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Real cars were made here in America: Fords, Chevys, Plymouths. These were large chunks of Detroit iron - cars that had the size, weight, and handling characteristics of aircraft carriers but worse fuel efficiency.
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Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.
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If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
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Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.
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One of the major hobbies in South Florida is keeping animals that no sane person would want to keep. One of those is snakes. They usually get them when they're small, and when they get too big, they let them go. But there are also people with monkeys, lions, tigers. And they all get away, eventually.
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Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.
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The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
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Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes.
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If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.
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Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
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The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.
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I, alone, could never have produced this book. I say this mainly in case there are lawsuits.
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I'm one of those people who tells my wife, No coaching from the sidelines.
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Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform comical maneuvers such as forgetting to set their parking brakes and having their cars roll down the ramp and disappear, burbling gaily, below the surface.
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If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
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Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.
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