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I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Funny
Humorous
Also
Periods
Women
Guys
Time
Sex
Think
Capable
Thinking
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Brief

More quotes by Dave Barry

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You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
Dave Barry
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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
Dave Barry
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I've never actually given birth to a child, but I suspect that going to a Justin Bieber concert with a child is close.
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Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
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The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.
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If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
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...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars AND watch television. If he ever dies and goes to heaven, it's going to be a big let down.
Dave Barry
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I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.
Dave Barry
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If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
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Too many rocks in the mountains.
Dave Barry
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It's a real smug self-righteous punk kid saying nobody has the right to tell him what to do and how dare you put a sign up saying that I can't go on your property?
Dave Barry
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The whole thing about whether you smoke marijuana or not is so ridiculous. That and whether you protested the Vietnam War. Give me a break. Especially the marijuana thing.
Dave Barry
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Think, for a moment, of the countless happy childhood hours you spent with this amazing device: Drawing perfect horizontals, drawing perfect verticals, drawing really spastic diagonals, trying to scrape away the silver powder from the window so you could look inside.
Dave Barry
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For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
Dave Barry
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Flying from the United States to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.
Dave Barry
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There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
Dave Barry
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It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they came up with the innovative idea of having a submerged nuclear submarine tow it.
Dave Barry
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Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?” “We’re going to look for water,” said Alf. “And food?” said Tubby Ted. “Water first,” said Alf. “We can go days without food.” “We can what?” Tubby Ted shouted.
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Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.
Dave Barry
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The porpoises said hello to Molly. She told them all her teeth were green.
Dave Barry