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Japan has a low crime rate, unless you count the fact that approximately every fifteen minutes the entire Cabinet gets indicted for taking bribes.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Minutes
Humorous
Bribes
Fact
Lows
Approximately
Funny
Rate
Bribe
Facts
Entire
Cabinet
Every
Crime
Cabinets
Unless
Fifteen
Gets
Japan
Taking
Count
Indicted
More quotes by Dave Barry
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For 41 years I have gone with a very natural hair look that was originally popularized by coconuts.
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Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.
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My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to your children over a period of many years. This is why your parents started to get so stupid just at the time in your life when you were getting really smart.
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One key lesson of history is that virtually anything, including afternoon or evening thundershowers, causes Germany to invade Belgium.
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Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tenative agreements.
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If you look at photos of the Gettysburg Address there's a guy off to the right who I think is Keith Richards.
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The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
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A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.
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Yet another spunky li'l NASA robot lands and begins transmitting back photographs of rocks that appear virtually identical to the rock photos beamed back by all the other spunky li'l NASA robots, thus confirming suspicions that the universe has a LOT of rocks in it.
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Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
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Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.
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As a professional journalist, I am always looking for new ways to get paid for being motionless.
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The taxpayers cannot be relied upon to support performing arts such as opera. As a taxpayer, I am forced to admit that I would rather undergo a vasectomy via Weed Whacker than attend an opera.
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