Quote

Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.

Dave Barry

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Course
Deity
Funny
Enjoys
Enjoy
Infallible
Next
Deities
Much
Humorous
Good
God
Humor
Prank
Courses
Pranks

More quotes by Dave Barry

Image
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
Dave Barry
Image
If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover.
Dave Barry
Image
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
Dave Barry
Image
Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.
Dave Barry
Image
I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
Dave Barry
Image
It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta
Dave Barry
Image
All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions in this book, these people are not responsible. In the end, there is only one person responsible for what I write, and that person, of course, is: Donald Trump.
Dave Barry
Image
Your friends love you anyway.
Dave Barry
Image
Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball only the part where you drive the cart.
Dave Barry
Image
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
Dave Barry
Image
...Hell, which as every frequent traveler knows, is in Concourse D of O'Hare Airport.
Dave Barry
Image
Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Dave Barry
Image
The scrub sink...is the place where doctors wash their hands after they operate so that they won't get flecks of your vital organs on their Lexus upholstery.
Dave Barry
Image
She wanted to cry, but she did not want Peter to see her cry, and she especially did not want Teacher, with her flowing hair, to see her cry.
Dave Barry
Image
I really try to think cinematically, because that's how people read. They create a theater in their minds.
Dave Barry
Image
Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
Dave Barry
Image
The other major kind of computer is the Apple, which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer you basically just plug in and use.
Dave Barry
Image
Orangutan are very weird animals but they look very soulful.
Dave Barry
Image
Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.
Dave Barry
Image
Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.' Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right? Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?' Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?
Dave Barry