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As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do.

Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
Age: 77
Born: 1947
Born: July 3
Actor
Author
Columnist
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Satirist
Writer
Armonk (New York)
David McAlister Barry
David Barry
Always
Spares
Time
Fascinated
People
Journalist
Journalism
Professional
Appear
Funny
Even
Spare

More quotes by Dave Barry

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What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.
Dave Barry
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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry
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Although humans tend to view sex as mainly a fun recreational activity sometimes resulting in death, in nature it is a far more serious matter.
Dave Barry
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Meetings are places where dead ideas rise from their graves and eat the brains of the living.
Dave Barry
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Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
Dave Barry
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Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
Dave Barry
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What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight.
Dave Barry
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By the eighties, a lot of radio stations had started playing Sixties music. They called it Classic Rock, because they knew we'd be upset if they came right out and called it what it is, namely middle-aged-person nostalgia music.
Dave Barry
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The trouble is, you cannot grow just one zucchini. Minutes after you plant a single seed, hundreds of zucchini will barge out of the ground and sprawl around the garden, menacing the other vegetables. At night, you will be able to hear the ground quake as more and more zucchinis erupt.
Dave Barry
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Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.
Dave Barry
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If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
Dave Barry
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Technology is constantly improving our lives. Look at the cellular telephone. Just ten years ago, virtually nobody was able to get into a car crash caused by trying to steer and dial at the same time today, people do this all the time.
Dave Barry
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The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called LinkedIn.
Dave Barry
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Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes.
Dave Barry
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In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford- were caused by erosion.
Dave Barry
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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave Barry
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England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.
Dave Barry
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Reading... a vacation for the mind.
Dave Barry
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Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
Dave Barry
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Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
Dave Barry